Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming....

I was talking with some fellow women returners, well not really talking more like corresponding. We were messaging each other. Frustration with the lack of progress in finding a job was one of our topics. Something we certainly can all relate to.

It got me thinking about a previous post Never Give Up! How to Keep a Positive Attitude.

It's so hard to remain optimistic when you have spent months, maybe even years, trying to re-enter the paid workforce in a position comparable to where you were when you left. Frustration takes hold and your self-confidence plummets. Your inner roommate fills your mind with self-doubt and unhelpfull thoughts that what you are doing is a waste of time.  

Look, there is no easy recipe to staying optimistic when your streak of rejection stretches into months or even years. No amount of "keep your chin up" from well meaning family and friends is going to make you feel better. You need to change your thought patterns. This isn't about trying to like rejection or like the fact that you have not found a job. It's about accepting where you are and not allowing it to negatively influence your thoughts and actions. One thing I know for sure is what you focus on expands. If you focus on what's going wrong and what you don't have, more of what's wrong is going to show up. If you focus on what's going right and what you want, more of what you want is going to show up; but not necessarily on the timeline you want or maybe even need.

You have to practice this mindset just like you have to practice a sport or a musical instrument. It's hard. It is easier to focus on what you don't have than focus on what you do have. The weird thing is that it feels more comfortable to focus on what you don't have. Your inner roommate will tell you its safer than risk the let down of unmet hopes. When what you don't have is the job you need, it can seem like an impossible obstacle to overcome.

Remember, you are never alone. Many of us have felt or are feeling exactly the same way. We have been through the same rejection, feel the same frustrations and self-doubt. We can nod our heads in understanding and acknowledgment of the pain you might be feeling. We are here standing with you whispering "You've got this."

So what do you do? Really there is only one choice as Dory from Finding Nemo reminds us "Just keep swimming,  just keep swimming."  

Need some ideas, Never Give Up! How to Keep a Positive Attitude might help.